January 13, 2009

Ex lovers - friends or strangers??

I remembered a friend of mine told me that a couple wouldn't be friends after they broke up, if they happened to be, its either one party has been constantly giving in due to love or both of them had never really love each other. I USED to totally disagree with the above opinion as I was rather fine with my ex-es.

Somehow, my good record was being broken by someone that had seriously pissed me off. The first ever ex of mine that turns out to be a stranger after we broke up. I was thinking that we really can be friends but all these was just an utopia when I realized a series of lies from him and stupid silly Vivio was actually just being taken for granted. This is when an ex lover becomes stranger because you know it well that its over and treating him as your friend'll just hurt you more at the end.

For ex-es who remain as friends, its not that I never really love. I swear to god that at the time Im with them, I vowed to be with them for life. Perhaps I had acted as the party who love and constantly giving in for them, after all, I don't stop loving them, I just simply learn to live without them and hoping that they have a better life ahead even their happiness have no part of me. When storms happened, when they are lost, Im still always and forever there for them. Pathetic Vivio, but who is the one who'll wipe away your tears and be there for you when you are miserable??

Sometimes I do wonder that when they look into my eyes and watch my heart shatter, does it break their heart too?? or crack a little bit?? or nothing?? *sigh*

Done with all these craps. Just hope that life'll be better ahead for Vivio, for people who loves Vivio and nevertheless for the people whom Vivio loves. *muacks*

"If we never felt sorrow, we'd never recognize bliss. At this rate I should be in a full state of bliss for the rest of my days" - Dennis Quaid

January 2, 2009

Farewell 2008, Welcome 2009

I never really have any new year resolution, plan and worse not even a wish for every year. Somehow I do look back on 31st of Dec to see what I've done for every particular year.

2008 seems to be a year that I progressed a lot, perhaps a year that I had learned too much compared to those previous one. Started to have a new concept on life, relation, marriage, friendship, family and lots more. Vivio had no longer taking life as serious as she used to be, no longer placing herself in a distress condition to please the whole world but not herself and no longer bother about what people had been gossiping about her.

She finally finds it acceptable to have a relation that remains people to be single at the same time, friends who acted as couple at times, marriage that doesnt everlasting anymore and acknowledge the importance of having family members.

Grown up, having a different perspective now somehow makes her more likely to lost herself again and to be exact, she actually did. She just answered a friend of hers that she has no freaking idea at all what she wanted in life. She has been keep telling herself about ignorance but at the end, I just feel like she is running away from everything rather than the literally ignoring. Anyhow, farewell 2008, thanks alot that I've learned and slightly wiser now.

There are times that she just feel like breaking down and cry, just keep crying BUT she knew it so well that tears doesn't help, life wouldn't be better no matter how loud she cried, misery wouldn't disappear, fact remains unchanged.

2009, is just another year, nothing to be really cheer on. She just hopes that this year'll be better. Pray hard to the God not to force her learn so fast by experiencing a series of tragedies again, pray hard that she'll be given a better route to walk in 2009. Welcome 2009!!!~ Better days ahead.